Even Hitler can’t buy salt! (2C Heidi Yip, Lily Chu, Jacky Chan, Ivan Kung, Abraham Fung, Liyana Pang)

Hitler: Have you found what I need?

Hitler’s assistant: Sorry Sir! I could not buy any as there is no salt all over Hong Kong. I have searched every supermarket, pharmacy, and grocery store, but I just can’t find any.

Hitler: Do you think I am a fool? Even a 3-year-old kid won’t believe you. Do you know who I am? I am the great leader of Germany, Adolf Hitler. I want salt! I want salt!

Hitler’s assistant: No…no…no…no…Sir, I am not lying, I swear! Turn on the TV, and you will know that I am your most loyal and sincere subordinate.

(Hitler gives a doubtful look and turns on TV.)

Reporter 1: The 9.0-magnitude earthquake in Japan has caused a global nuclear crisis. People all over the world are worried about the released toxic radiation. In Hong Kong, there are internet rumours that salt can ward off radiation. The citizens have become insane and they are stocking up on salt, all kinds of salt. Our reporter Ling Ling Chan has more…ah…I don’t mean salt…I mean more of the story.

Ling Ling: I am now in a market in San Hui. There is a long queue outside a grocery store. The price of a small pack of salt has already gone up to $1000.

(People queuing up for salt.)

Ling Ling: Ling Ling Chan, TVC News.

Reporter 2: Is it true that eating salt can save us from radiation?
Let’s talk to Professor Chu, who is an expert in nuclear energy.


Reporter 2: Professor, can we be protected from radiation by taking salt?

Professor Chu: There is precisely no evidence to support that. Um…Never in my whole life have I heard about using salt as a radiation remedy. In fact, if you take too much salt, you will die of kidney failure before you die of radiation-related diseases.

Reporter 2: So what do you think about the citizens’ behaviour?

Professor Chu: I suggest that they should stop this unwise behaviour immediately.

Reporter 2: Thank you very much.

(Hitler turns off TV.)

Hitler: How am I gonna make salt-roasted chicken?

Hitler’s assistant: Sir, may I ask why do you want to eat salt-roasted chicken?

Hitler: Because I don’t want to die from radiation exposure.

Hitler’s assistant: (to audience) He’s really a fool! No wonder he lost in the Second World War!